What am I doing

As I sit here in the "Bro-Mansion" aka "MT. Doom" aka my house, I look out the window at the rolling landscape of southern San Francisco (Not SSF) and watch as people move about this suburban area of the city. A question comes to mind: What am I doing?

I have no idea really...And it scares me to ask myself a question I do not have the answer for. Yet, I am not sure it needs one right now. What am I doing? Well, on the surface, I am waiting. Waiting for MBA school to start, waiting to hear back from part-time gigs, waiting until boxing class. Just waiting. Thats all I seem to be doing now. It feels bad to say, but is it a bad thing to just wait for the coming events? Is there validity to this feeling that I need to be doing something right now. That I should be working on a website or looking for jobs...Of course part of me responds with a big "hells no." This is a break before school so I should chill. No point in getting a job just to leave it in a month! Tru that.

BUT I need money. I need money and need a valid, legal way to get it continually.

This is hard. I told myself to sit down and write. To see if I like writing and if I could maintain a blog. Im not sure that I do..I mean it is not bad, I just have trouble organizing my thoughts and getting them out in time before they scramble again. Maybe a lack of topic is the problem:

San Francisco! This city has been good to me....
Nah, I just dont feel it, dont feel like writing a piece on a city. and maybe that is because a writer does not need to write about things, about proper nouns or places. I need to feel it. Need to feel what I want to write about. That statement is essentially saying that I need to write about feelings/thoughts. So I dont know if I can just sit down and write. I think i need to be struck with an idea, with a small revelation or even just a new understanding of something that feels worth sharing. My mind moves to find what it has been occupied with in the past days to look for inspiration among the distractions. Moving to New York, MBA school, Jobs, Katie, Relationships, LA, Money...I dont want to write about any of this because it is all always in my head and I hope to escape it for a moment while writing..so what else.

Earthquakes. This guy, science man. Old guy. Says that San Francisco will have a major earthq....again, not feeling it. But I am enjoying this vomiting of words from my head. I am struck with the idea of a character blog. I realize I have had this idea before and I will refer to my notes...
I refer to my Google Site of projects.. a place of languishing, awesome yet demanding, tried and failed pre-production ideas...a place that I use to hold pieces of my brain while I work on others. Burger Bar, No. Hand Modelling, No. Soap Distribu...Ah here it is.

"Short story blog"

Character blog..daily thoughts? Maybe write a short story
Story ideas:
A) What if we evolved with more focus of our brains on physical activities than senses or intelligence, what if we could choose
B) What if we lived in a country where everyone contributed money to science advancement rather than barely new lame tech, no religious barriers to science

- Maybe start a blog/facebook/ viral presence as one of these characters

Idea B is pretty cool... This would be intersting, but not so much a character blog. Maybe as a citizen of that country? Mocking launches of iPad 3s and android phones as trivial advances while my own countries teleportation and genetic modification advances. Drawing out how much money is spent on CrApple products and how much further we would be in space had we put our money there... I like this idea and its potential.

Yet Idea A seems more interesting, easier to explore, yet much more shallow. I would need to explain more, assume more... does not seem to have legs. Maybe this is a book or short story idea than a blog. I will try writing this later... Maybe a short story ON a blog..Oooohhh